top of page
  • Writer's pictureK.R.Dunn

Final edits happening now!

I was enjoying re-reading my manuscript after many moons and do some final edits. I do feel fresher upon looking at it again.

I am going to post a segment or two for your enjoyment on a couple specific bits I just worked on below. Now without background to them you might feel lost, but just try to take in the scene, not thinking about the history.

Scene One, Chapter two:

After Joe passed two riders with a friendly wave, Joe charged hard up a light grade trail on his orange and black KTM mountain bike. His right foot was at the top of its pedal stroke when the earth seemed to drop out from under him. It was one of those rainwater run-off cracks that he was accustomed to seeing along the many hillsides and trails in this arid soil of California. This time though, as his front wheel caught the crack, the ground gave way to a much larger gap, a sinkhole that was pulling him in.

Within seconds, Joe was engulfed up to his shoulders. The ground seemed to liquefy all around him as he started to panic. With his pulse throbbing through his temples and adrenaline pumping, he struggled to climb out. The weight of the bicycle still attached to him below, continued to drag him down, like someone had hooked it to a chain, and was reeling him down to hell. He silently cursed that his clip pedals were wrapped around his shoes and would not let go.

The bicycle felt hundreds of pounds heavier as it dragged him lower. His breath heaved as he desperately grasped at the soil in an attempt to pull himself back up. There was nothing to grab ahold of as his hands only grabbed rocks and grit. Within seconds he had vanished under the ground. His sight started to grow blurred, a dark thought entered his mind. The last thing I’ll ever see is pouring dirt. He lost consciousness just as the soil had blocked the last vestige of sunlight above.

Scene three, Chapter Eleven:

The voice was light with an erotically husky edge, dancing through a Broadway tune from the Phantom of the Opera. His interest was piqued enough to step around the corner. The woman's bare back was dimly visible through the stream and the pale flesh that he could see made him state in awe like a schoolboy seeing his first playboy. Her physique was just as snesual as her voice. As she layered shampoo into her wet hair, soapy water running down her sleek lines, Joe could not take his eyes off her.

He wanted to remember this moment. A twinge of guilt tugged at him, making him feel like a true voyeur this time, but he tried to push that from his mind. He hadn’t been with a woman since Linda. The view was intoxicating. It wasn't just the physical draw to see her that he wanted to remember, it was the feeling of youth that her image evoked in him. Strands of hair swept along the top of her tailbone, highlighting curves in all the right places.

I have to get my mind off her and back to work.

Hesitantly, Joe pulled himself slowly out of the roo, refocusing on his job at hand, the safe. The blueprints had shown it to be mounted behind a large, horizontal English style radiator heater. Joe found it, noting the impressive quality of the vintage piece. With a bare-metal lacquer finish and a solid mount that kept it stable on the floor, there were no signs as to how it could be moved. Fiddling with it a bit, he found a button on the back lower-left corner, which turned the left floor mount int a rotating hinge, allowing the heater to be swung out.

Quite clever

Skip to Scene five, same chapter:


Turning around excitedly, he was shocked by the woman from the shower, donning only a small towel that only covered her from hips to her upper thighs. She was looking at him intently, holding a gun steadily aimed at him.

"I do not know who you are, but Arty will want to talk to you."

She excued confidence, clearly unfazed by how exposed her body was.

Joe smiled at her, taking a final good look with a tilt of his head, and then said:

"Sorry my dear, I have to go, but it was truly a pleasure to meet you," as he vanished from her sight.


Enough on this post. I am having issues with my computer cutting and pasting which is forcing me to rewrite it here on this post. Hopefully no typo's in my fast post.


9 views0 comments


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page